I haven’t spent this much time trying to type a sentence since those No-Doz enhanced, all nighters’ back in college. There, I finally did it. My first sentence of my first blog. Exhausting. How do you bloggers do it? I was brave when I was young, bold with my opinions and writing saucy poems in college , reading them aloud in class..where did she go I wondered? Married nearly 24 years ago, a nursing career and two teenagers later, I stopped feeding my emotional growth while worrying about everyone else’s. Somewhere in there, I lost a decade. Somewhere in there I became “M’am, do you need help with your groceries” (No) and “How old are you…IF YOU DON’T MIND ME ASKING?” ( they lower their voice when they say it, dirty words..ssssh. But, my brain hears it real, real loud) Somewhere in there, while I was potty training and tending to the sick, my 40’s ran over me and I am suddenly strange to this not young/ not old world. A world where apparently, if I am able to muster the courage to speak my age ,I should probably whisper it, lest I offend. Pity the fool who asks THE QUESTION though,as the big mouth in me still lives on, and I respond with gusto with “why would I mind? Is my age something to be ashamed of? Should I be concerned that I don’t look 25 or 35 or 45 anymore? It goes on from there..a mini lecture about embracing the years, and appreciating all of them ensues, leaving the questioner quiet and slightly confused about how we got started anyway on this mess. So for now, I will attempt this blog thing , someone may care about my experiences and perspectives , if not, there’s still something energizing about it..I haven’t been this awake at 2am in years!