Less than 12 inches from me, right now, he is cracking them open, eating them, cracking them open, and eating them..please stop. Doesn’t he see I want to write? He’s still cracking them…he’s still eating them. He’s chatty now…quiet man wants to chat and I want to write. Is this what water boarding feels like? O.K., I’m just going to tell him he’s making me nuts.
Well, that went better than expected..he said I was crazy, gathered up his remains and left. Wise move, I applaud you Joe, cause I’m feeling a little cuckoo..cuckoo..like the bird going in and out the little door on the clock. I’m used up today. My head is spinning with present and future obligations, my lists have lists. I am well aware that I am not the only mother who also works a full-time job, but knowing we are in good company never makes it any easier. You Dads out there are a huge support, but you’re lying if you won’t admit that the Mom is the Grand Marshal of the family parade. The “who goes where and when with what they need” is generally Mom’s job. A brief scan of the grocery store on any given Saturday shows the weary women pushing the craziest of carts, the ones brimming over. Sure, you’ll see the guys too, hanging out by the fish, grabbing a few pounds of shrimp, or a steak, dashing through express checkout, they always seem happy in the store..Daddy hero returns home with his kill, cracks a beer and watches his steak grill. I guess you have probably figured by now that I enjoy grocery shopping about as much as I enjoy scrubbing gas station bathrooms with a toothbrush. I know I should be grateful for modern supermarkets, and the ability to be able to even afford a grocery cart brimming over, so please restrain yourselves from a lecture, because I bite tonight..I’m a little nuts. I sometimes dream of living in the world of a little corner grocer, a daily stop for fresh stuff..that’s for me. I don’t need to choose from 75 different ketchups, I really don’t. My friends rave about the monster Wegmans..oh, the choices! My worst nightmare of a shopping experience. If I can’t see where the store ends when I walk in the front door, I ain’t going in. I shopped at Wegmans once..ran in for a salad to take to party..had to stop twice to ask directions to the deli..never went back.
So this weekend I am going to try something different..instead of worrying about everything that needs to be done, the cleaning, the laundry, the *gasp* grocery store, harassing the kids to start summer reading and math work..this nutty Grand Marshal Mom signed the family up for a day of Kayaking lessons on a beautiful lake with gorgeous sunset views. They won’t know what hit them, Cuckoo Mom is just getting started.