Back off people..I’ve got a loaded lunchbox, weighted with fiber and I’m not afraid to beat you unconscious with it.
Some of you may recall that I embarked on my weight loss junket nearly 5 weeks ago..yes, I said “junket”..because if one of you asks me how my “journey” is going ..so help me God, I will water board you with this bucket of water that I am constantly slurping from.
Save your healing white light and calming vibes too.. cause I got a fire burning in my belly that I intend to stoke into a raging inferno..you might want to step back or burn baby burn.
The Skinny Bitch has entered the building.
The scale is going down, down, down..today’s numbers were very encouraging, a new set of ten to battle..good for me. I am winning this battle. This has gotten personal, between me and my spare tire, whose air I have been slowly deflating, week after week. Party after party, walking away from the cake, the wine, Mom’s potato salad. Die fat die..you killer of health, energy and cute outfits. Go straight to hell.
This week saw that turning point, the one where people comment..all day long. Some compliment, which is nice. They examine my food in the break room…getting old. They criticize..which is bad. “you’ll never keep that weight off” “diets don’t work”..or my favorite..”don’t let your face get too skinny..women our age don’t look good …”
AAAAAAH! Shield your eyes people from the horror of my shrinking,aging face, because I am not able to control the reduction locations of my body..I have many pounds to go to bid adieu to the spare tire and the junk in the trunk. So if my head looks like that guy from “Beetlejuice” when I’m done..oh, well..hope you can hold down your lunch if you are forced to eat across the table from me.