The Up Side Of Being Down

There is something seriously wrong with me.  Besides the fact that I was sitting in an empty hospital waiting room after hours, still in my nurse scrubs, now with a bracelet slapped on my wrist, suddenly shoved to the other side of the stretcher.  There is something wrong with me in that I couldn’t get the image of a mid-1970’s Neil Sedaka out of my head.  Am I the only one who remembers that thirty seconds in 1975 where Neil’s agent tried to make him into a sex symbol?  Image

                                                               Bad(bad) Blood(blood)

                                                                The bitch is in her smile

                                                                The lie is on her lips

                                                                 Such an evil child

                                                             Bad (bad) Blood(blood)

                                                              Is takin you for a ride

                                                           The only good thing about bad blood is

                                                                     lettin it slide

                                                             Doo-ron, Doo-ron, Di Di, Dit, Do-ron-ron

Before you write me off as a complete loon, which wouldn’t be a total stretch, let me explain. My health status took the “let’s fuck with her again” fork in the road two days ago.  A decades old now blood disorder reared up and sent me to the hospital and to the pharmacy, and blah, blah, blah. Hence, the “Bad Blood” reference, and you are welcome for the ear worm..good luck with that…it’s pretty awful. 

I hate my quirky blood.  It has tried to kill me a couple of times, once when I was just Twenty. It was the 80’s, and I remember waking up on a sidewalk, surrounded by colorful leg rescuers had just come from an aerobics class, and everyone looked like Olivia Newton-John from her “Let’s Get Physical” album. If I hadn’t been spitting up blood, I would have laughed at them- I was laughing on the inside though. So my life- long soap opera of “How The Blood Churns” began. 

Injections and pills. Attempts to make my blood flow like water through it’s torturous pathways has been a challenge. Renowned hematologists at two of the finest hospitals in America, have scratched their heads in puzzlement at me. I can tell you, when you wait months to see a guru and he cocks his head at you like my Lab when I say “Go For?”, it does not instill a lot of hope.

But, wait, kind, good and prayerful people…hold your fruit baskets, flowers and healing lights.  I am fine, always have been, always will be.  This week’s episode has given me a couple of days of R&R. Time to read and write. Time to be home for my boys when they arrive from school, a slow-cooker of stew roasting in the oven. I feel like a slightly debilitated June Cleaver. Their smiles when they come through the door are all I need for positive, healing vibes- right before they disappear into their homework. Yesterday my son proudly constructed a diorama of  Shakespeare’s “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”  right in front of me.  He worked like the mad genius he is, always independent, like Edward Scissorhands..  the construction paper, tape, legos, and cut-outs of characters perfectly selected and sized from the internet..I watched him in wonderment.  As a working Mom, I have missed so many of these moments in my boy’s lives, but it makes the appreciation acutely sweet when the gift of time together avails itself. Sometimes the bad blood can be a gift..sing it with me..Doo-ron doo-ron, di di, dit,do-ron-ron….






10 thoughts on “The Up Side Of Being Down

  1. Jesus. Neil Sedaka. THAT took me back, maybe way farther than I wanted to go….but I get the whole connection, such is the edginess of your creativity!

    I so admire the way you turned a down into an up. That is SO not me. I just run with the downer, bitching and whining all the way. I do this so much that no one even listens anymore. Someday they’ll be at my funeral saying, “Wow…she really wasn’t lying.”

    Anyway, Tess, I hope this particular episode rights itself quickly, and you feel better real soon. As for me, I’m going to go look up some old Sedaka songs. (See what your edginess did?)

    • Oh no..I am so sorry I drove you to Neil. Don’t do it. I want people to be standing at my funeral cracking the hell up. Leave ’em laughing. It’s never to late to change your out look! Why bitch and whine when you can laugh and sing? Thanks for your honest, great comment!

  2. Neil Sedaka – loved him! That picture will haunt my dreams tonight. Feel better my friend, you writing just keeps getting better and better. Life is about those moments and we always have a choice, great way to choose the positive!

  3. Oh Tess, I’ll never get that pic of Neil Sedaka out of my head now. Oh yeah, and I’m glad your bad blood turned good because no matter how you try to disguise it, we all know you’re all good deep down.

  4. My very first husband looked exactly like Neil Sedaka! Too much for me. We were married for about 5 minutes. So I laugh when ever I think of Neil! I share your feelings around the saga of the clumpy blood. When I finally talked to my special electro-physiologist and asked him if I could still get tattoos he looked at me so strangely. We are tough, like you say. Bad blood is tough blood! Enjoy your time home with your pack. xo, Cindy

    • Thanks’s been a good/awful week. Funny how that happens. Was your husband the sexy Neil or the Gomer Pyle Neil? It appears he had a split personality for a week.

  5. Hi Tess, I have just spent a very, very happy portion of my day going through your blog and I love it. You’ve inspired me to flex my pointer finger and get back to pecking out my thoughts one keystroke at a time. Thank you!!
    Btw, not sure if my signature will show it, but my now defunct blog about the convent can be found at
    Just weed through the posts to find those referencing All Saints.
    Happy Blogging!

    • Oh thank you ..a high, high compliment. Please blog.. yours is too good to not share with the world. I will be diving in to yours..I missed reading you!

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